Frequent Flyer...

I’ve been through airport security plenty of times to know the drill. Belt off, shoes off, coat off, scarf off, jewelry off, computer out, liquids out, make sure your bags are in the scanner, walk throw the metal detector, show the guard your boarding pass, reassemble yourself and your stuff. I’ve got it down to a science, like most traveling Americans and don’t really question any of my actions. However, this weekend, these habits made me quite the spectacle.

When I read the policies of the Cluj airport before my flight to Barcelona and saw that they suggested we arrive at least two hours before our flight, I thought they must be crazy. I was sleep deprived when I first arrived at the Cluj airport, but I didn’t remember it being any larger than the Cedar Rapids airport. I learned the reason for this excessive amount of time was two-fold. First, WizzAir, in true budget airline fashion, takes their sweet time. Second, a large amount of passengers are getting their wings for the first time (translation: security is a painfully slow process). I first got my wings in the days before the airlines took away complimentary peanuts and first-timers were given little wing stickers and got to meet the pilot. The thrill of flying, for me, was gone before the sticker, when I learned that I was terrified of flying. With time, I’ve learned to no longer dread travel days, sometimes with the assistance of Valium and saying my flight number aloud to confirm it doesn’t sound like a good flight number for a plane crash, but my face reflects none of the joy I’ve seen in the faces of many Romanian passengers.

Last week, I arrived at the airport two hours early to head to Rome. I got checked in, headed to security and started my get-through-security-and-passport-control-as-fast-as-possible drill. With my limited Romanian language skills, I could tell the little girl behind me was talking about me, but I wasn’t sure the context. After passing through the metal detector successfully, the airport security man asked me if I could understand what the girl said. After confirming I didn’t know much Romanian, he told me she said, “Wow, I bet that girl’s flown five times”.  Then, on my way home from Rome, I once again began my security drill. Those of you who know me well know I can easily slip into my own world and be obliviously to fairly obvious things, like say, no one taking off their shoes at security. I walked through the metal detector and handed the guard my plane ticket and his response was, “you’re an American, right”. We have to digress for a second here because I can’t believe I forgot to put this in my Roma post. Throughout our whole trip, guys were coming up to us trying to get us to go on different organized bar crawls. Their selling point for the American girl demographic was body shots. They were selling it to us as if doing body shots are part of our everyday lives at home. Attention Italian bar crawl organizers: I have never done a body shot and I never plan to! Okay, now back to the story. So, after the annoying salesmen throughout the trip, I was a little irritated by the guard asking me. I told him I was and asked him how he could tell. He said he could because without questioning I took off my shoes (this is when I noticed no one else was and my anxiety about plane safety sky-rocketed), I walked through the metal detector without questioning if it may attack me and I was through the security in under one minute.   

If you’ve seen the movie Up in the Air you probably remember George Clooney explaining the rules of getting through security quickly. If you haven’t seen the movie or, like me, love to watch trailers after seeing the movie, this trailer has some of the rules: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7k6FwXJhNk. I would like to add a few additional rules for travelling in countries where a large percentage of the travellers are first timers. In the security line, never get behind anyone who is (1) apparently enjoying their trip through security, (2) pretending to have wings and fly like a bird, or (3) waving good-bye to a group of 10+ people though their luggage indicates they won’t be gone for more than a week, because the security guard will, without a doubt, have to tell them to remove each article of excess clothing piece by piece, fight with them about walking barefoot to the other side of the metal detector, and find water bottles unknowingly packed in carry-on luggage. Finally, there is one rule that’s universal, never go behind someone with a stroller.       

My wallet is a little to full when traveling...when I return home, it will be nice to walk out the door with just my keys