I warn readers now; this post may be overly sappy and not really related to Romania or my summer here and though I don’t consider myself to be overly nostalgic or sappy, my realize self-perception could be off.
You may have seen on my facebook that I was sick. Nothing terrible just a little food poisoning and I’m feeling good now, but being sick in a dorm room is no fun and being sick in a dorm room in a foreign country with a very slow internet connection is even less fun. I’ve now watched the majority of the movies and TV shows in my possession (including Superbad, Knocked Up, Two Weeks Notice, P.S. I Love You and How I Met Your Mother) and then I moved on to cleaning out my Gmail. This is where this post begins.
You may be wondering where the title of this post came from. It’s actually a phrase used by a history teacher I met in Romania a few weeks ago. He used it to describe the state he believes Romania is in trying to navigate from communism to capitalism. He said he would love to write a book with this title. (I hope the metaphor I’m about to draw isn’t insensitive though I have to admit it is a bit selfish.) This phrase continues to enter my brain when I’m walking to work and I think how it would be a great title for a book depicting the first year after college; specifically, the first year after college for me and my friends. Trying to transition from college to the future while at the same time seeing the support system we built in college move to various locations around the United States and the world. It still astonishes me that we have been out of college for a year, and I would have to guess that not many of us could have predicted on graduation day where we would be today. I had never heard of Cluj let alone thought I would be living here.
So as I said early I was going through my Gmail and I ended up reading several emails that fit the “Lost in Transition” theme. I’m going to steal some parts of emails to reminisce on the year. I hope my friends will enjoy reflecting back with me (and I hope you don’t care I’m using your quotes).
I can say that when I walked across the stage at graduation I felt confident in my future. Three months later when I walked across the stage at my White Coat Ceremony when medical school (including my first experience with a cadaver) was three days away from being a reality, some of that confidence had vanished. My best friend was on her way Germany for five months and most of my roommates had vacated Iowa City. We were left to transition independently in many cities with skype and email to save us.
My first email to my best friend Gabby said,
“You are going through as transitional a year as me. You are moving to Germany in two and a half days, traveling to fabulous places and all the while deciding what type of graduate school you what to go to and where. This is one of the most exciting times in our lives. The decisions we make now will indeed change the course of our lives. For the past two years I haven’t been able to go out without your approval on my outfit, how could I possibly alter the course of my life without letting you weigh in?”
As the year began my emails were mainly about medical school while Gabby’s dealt with revelations about many of the things you are able to partially ignore in college.
“I was thinking how best to describe school to you and I have come up with tequila as a description. You know when some nights you know you can take the tequila shot no problem and you are even willing to take two shots, but then some nights you can't even think the word tequila without wanting to vomit and run away from the person (usually Brian) buying the shots???? That is me and medical school. Some days I know I am exactly where I should be and I’m confident and ready for whatever class they put in front of me and then some days I wonder if I made the right choice and if I am actually cut out for this. Today is a good day. I am ready for the week and I feel good and at ease but I don't know when next it will hit me. It is quite exhausting. I’m hoping this is just first month stress and it will go away.”
“So many of these people don't have the option of going back home to states whenever they want, and it's almost in a selfish way reassuring knowing I'm not stuck here. I can go home whenever I want, and it's still my choice, not the governments. Being here has really made me appreciate everything the military sacrifices for us. You never really think about the war at home, but being here I think about it every couple minutes. The other day we were shopping at the commissary (the grocery store on base) and the lady we were with told us we couldn't buy coffee because it's rationed. WHAT? Rationed coffee? Are u kidding me? It's not WWII. I was completely blown away by it.”
Transitioning from a giant dirty college house to a clean condo was one of the transitions I welcomed. I missed my roommates and our kitchen talks (even if it meant sitting on a kitchen floor with ground beef crumbles and vodka stains), but I definitely didn’t miss our parking, bathroom, laundry room, fridge. (Roommates anything else I forgot that we hated.) One of my roommates (cough cough Leah) was ready for a different transition then the one we were experiencing.
“While working (yes...I have been working for my father) I was rocking out to the radio and an ad comes on about a place to live...I was tuning out most of the ad but then something caught my ear. It says..."do you want to be able to knit and read in your room? To be able to sleep undisturbed? To have a meal with wine included?" in my head I am answering yes to all of these questions so I get excited...then the ad goes on to say..."come join us at Northern Hills retirement home"....yeppp I am a 70 year old women trapped in a 22 (yuck almost 23) year olds body.”
Some including MB questioned if some things that were normal in college were still acceptable post-college.
“So I’m a college graduate… ...is it acceptable or unacceptable that I am currently eating a piece of pita bread that used to be moldy? Meaning I picked off the moldy parts.”
One thing we refused to transition through was letting each other know about the big/hilarious/memorable/terrible/believable/unbelievable moments in our lives as they happened. This better stay the same forever because I need to know all the things listed below.
“PS: I just got bangs yesterday :)”
“Needless to say, it went well. =) Buuut I'm not gonna get too excited just yet. One mistake on his part...I told him that I'm meeting with one of my professors next week to talk about doing my field placement overseas, preferably somewhere in Africa. (I'm super excited about it! I'll keep ya posted!) Anywho, he was worried about safety in Africa blah blah blah, and THEN asked, "Well what if you... had a boyfriend?" hahaha. Slow down crazy. Slow down.”
“Good thing I was black out texting u at Oktoberfest yesterday. Even in another country I haven’t lost that habit, good to know. I came out of my black out later and was looking through my texts and burst out laughing because even my blacked out self knew how much I wanted you there sitting next to me in the beer tent, with a giant mug, singing "heyyyyyyyyyy heyyyyy babyyyy ohhh ahhh I wana knooowwww will you be my girl" Yep, definitely wanted you there!”
The year has had its ups and downs for all of us but I think we are, for the most part, starting to find our way and complete our transition. I am amazed to think of all my friends and what they have been able to do in the short time after graduation. Kristen, you were amazing at being Dance Marathon Event Director, Stacy, you started your own business, Grayce, you will be a CPA before the first football game this fall, Pants, you found your dream job and ran a 10K, Jessica, you have performed and done your laundry in more cities in the continental US than I can count, Conway, you got married!!!, Jarman, you are half way done with your MSW and added substantially to your really weird job list, MB, you started following your dream of acting and writing, Kara, you were brave enough to realize the career you went to college for wasn’t the career for you and rearranged the future to be the life you want, Leah, you have stuck with a challenging job and I hope this summer will make it worth it, and finally Gabby, you figured out what grad school you wanted to go to and got into it! So everyone, recharge this summer, get ready for another great year and don’t forget to email all of us along the way.